# The Bullshit Stories We Tell Ourselves ##### Learning to challenge the beliefs that keep us stuck in self-doubt  --- We all do it. Get something in our heads – some story we tell ourselves about who we are. Or how others see us. And suddenly it’s gospel truth. One of my favourite mental mindfucks right now is the idea that, because I’ve planned live events and training sessions, put them out into the world, and then decided *not* to do them – that I’m somehow flaky. Unreliable. Inconsistent. Untrustworthy. I’ve been wrestling with this for a while. It comes down to a fear that people won’t trust me if I change my mind. That they’ll see me as someone who doesn’t follow through. And therefore, won’t believe in me. My work. Or what I have to offer. And if people don’t trust me? Then what’s the point of anything? --- ## The fear of being seen as a flake Here’s the bullshit belief I’ve been sitting with – I’m afraid that by *not* doing the live stuff I said I was going to do (because it doesn’t work for me – which I wrote about [[From Tech Fails to Truth Bombs|here]]), I’m letting people down. That they’ll see me as unreliable. That people won’t stick around because they won’t trust me to deliver. And, let’s be real – when you’re running your own business, especially when it’s tied to something as personal as coaching or wellness, that trust matters. It’s fucking *huge*. If people don’t trust me, then how can they believe in what I’m trying to do? How can they follow my work, read my writing, or stick around for the journey? So the story I’ve been telling myself is that I’m not trustworthy. That I’m inconsistent. That because I’ve changed my mind on what’s right for me, people won’t trust who I am or what I bring to the table. --- ## Sitting with the belief – and realising it’s bullshit But here’s the truth – No, I’m *not* untrustworthy. People *can* trust me. They can trust that I’m going to do what’s best for me, my energy, and my health. They can trust that I’m going to bring my most authentic self into everything I do. At least, that’s what I’m working toward. By doing that – by bringing my true self into my work – it means I have to change how I do things. For years, I’ve been masking. Trying to fit in. Following what everyone else does because I thought that was the way to be successful. To make a difference. To be taken seriously. But that’s bullshit. And I’m done with it. --- ## The mission is the same, but the methodology has to change I want people to trust me when I say that my mission hasn’t changed. I’m still here to help women understand their bodies, minds, moods, and hormones. I’m still all about helping women become their most authentic, aligned selves. That’s what lights me up. That’s what drives me every single day. But how I do that? That is going to change. Because *I’m* changing. I’m doing everything I can to live a life that’s aligned with who I truly am. That means respecting my own needs and energy levels. That means protecting my mental health. It means saying no to shit that doesn’t feel right anymore – even if I said yes to it before. So yeah – I’m not doing live trainings anymore. They drain the hell out of me. And it’s just not sustainable for me. That doesn’t make me unreliable. It makes me someone who’s paying attention to what works and what doesn’t. It makes me trustworthy – because I’m practicing what I preach. I’m aligning my work with my energy. And I want the women who follow me to trust that I’m doing exactly that. --- ## Saying yes and then changing my mind Here’s another thing that fucks with my head. Years ago, when I first started talking about menstrual cycle awareness, I had this big idea to create a training program around it. I wanted to teach women how to train and workout around their cycle, and I was *so sure* it was the right move. I put it out there. I told the world it was coming. And then – I didn’t follow through. That program is still sitting in my drafts folder. It’s been there for years. Edited and tweaked along the way. But it’s never seen the light of day. The story I’ve been telling myself? That this makes me untrustworthy. That I said I was going to do something, and I didn’t, so people won’t believe in me. But here’s the truth: That doesn’t happen often. If I’m really honest with myself, I do follow through on most of the shit I commit to. So why am I giving myself such a hard time about this one thing? Because I’ve always had this belief that if you say you’re going to do something, you have to follow through. It’s like this unspoken rule that’s governed my entire life. But what happens when you say yes to something, and then realise it’s not actually for you? You change your mind. And that’s okay. It doesn’t make you a liar. It doesn’t make you untrustworthy. It makes you someone who’s listening to their gut and making decisions that are aligned with who they are and what they need in that moment. --- ## Why I didn’t release the menstrual cycle training Let’s get back to that program. The reason I didn’t release the training wasn’t because I’m a flake. It was because the research around menstrual cycles was changing at the time, and I didn’t want to put something out into the world that was already outdated. The research on women’s health is shit *(especially when it comes to the menstrual cycle)* and I didn’t want to teach something that wasn’t right. So I held off. I put it back in the drafts folder. And I decided to wait until I had all the information I needed. And that’s the real story. The truth is – I am trustworthy. People can trust that when I put something out there, it’s going to be researched, thought-through, and aligned with what I believe in. They can trust that I’m not just spitting out cookie-cutter shit that everyone else is putting out. They can trust that I’m not copy-pasting someone else’s work or using some half-assed, AI-generated crap. Everything I create comes from me. My experience. My thoughts. My emotions. People can trust that I’m being authentic. And sometimes, being authentic means changing your mind. It means shifting gears because you’ve realised that what you originally planned doesn’t align with who you are now. --- ## What bullshit stories are you telling yourself? So here’s the real question – *what bullshit stories are you telling yourself?* The ones that whisper... *You’re not enough.* *You’ve failed.* *You’re inconsistent.* *Unreliable.* *Not good enough.* We all have those stories. They sit there, simmering, filling us with self-doubt, convincing us we’re falling short of some imaginary standard. But ask yourself – is it true? Or is it just a story you’ve picked up along the way, one that no longer serves you? Write it down. Sit with it. Tear it apart. It’s time to dig into those beliefs and see them for what they are. Old. Outdated. And full of shit.