# Sometimes Finishing Something Means Knowing When to Quit ##### What the sunk cost fallacy taught me about letting go of things that no longer serve me  --- Finish. That was my word of the year for 2022. I had two plans for it: 1. Finish the things I’d started but never quite got round to completing. 2. Let go of the things that no longer served me. I thought I’d struggle most with finishing. *I was wrong.* The real challenge was in the letting go. For the last five years, I poured time, energy, and a lot of money into a “project.” For the last three years, I’ve wanted to quit it. But I didn’t. I stuck with it. Even though my priorities had shifted. Even though it wasn’t serving me anymore. Even though I knew deep down it was time to walk away. Why didn’t I just quit? Turns out, it all comes down to something called the Sunk Cost Fallacy (otherwise known as the Concorde Fallacy). --- ## What is the Concorde fallacy? %% [[Concorde Fallacy Definition]] %% %%[[the more we pay the more committed we are to something]]%% The Concorde Fallacy is the idea that we continue to invest in something. Not because it’s good for us. Not because it makes sense. But because we don’t want to “waste” the time, money, or effort we’ve already poured into it. The term comes from the infamous Concorde project - the supersonic jet. The one that Britain and France spent decades and billions building. The one that even after it was obvious the costs outweighed the benefits, they still continued. By the time the Concorde’s first commercial flight took off in 1976, it was already a financial disaster. But they carried on, unable to let go of what they’d already invested. But it’s not just governments and billion-dollar projects, though, is it? This happens in our everyday lives too. - Sticking with a relationship that’s more tears than joy. - Pushing through a book that doesn’t excite us - Eating that dessert you didn’t even want, just because you paid for it. - Pouring more time and energy into a project that’s sucking the life out of you. Sound familiar? Yep, me too. So, why the fuck do we find it so hard to walk away? --- ## 1. Pride gets in the way %% [[pride prevents us from giving up on something]] %% That little voice in our heads saying – *Don’t be a quitter.* *You’ll look weak.* *People will say, “I told you so.”* We tell ourselves we need to prove something. To ourselves. To others. To the universe. We don’t want to admit we were wrong or that we backed the wrong horse. Instead, we double down. *Just a little more then it’ll work* (time/effort/money – fill in the blank). But truth is - it rarely does. --- ## 2. Negative emotions keep us stuck %% [[negative feelings about our sunk costs drive the behaviour]] %% Even when we feel bad as we continue our endeavour, we do it anyway. And it seems the worse we feel about how much we’ve already invested, the harder it is to let go. It’s like trying to outrun a mistake. Instead of cutting our losses, we dig deeper, hoping to make it all “worth it.” But all that does is trap us further. --- ## 3. Fear of regret takes over %%[[regret is an emotion that we experience when realising or imagining that our current situation would have been better, if only we had decided differently]]%% Ah, the dreaded what ifs. - *What if I quit and regret it later?* - *What if I walk away and miss out on something amazing?* - *What if I’m making the wrong choice?* %% [[anticipated regret can affect our emotions in the present]] %% That anticipated regret can feel so real, it convinces us to stay. It’s like we’re trying to pre-emptively avoid a future heartbreak. But all we’re doing is dragging the current misery out longer. %% [[the more anticipated regret we have the more we hang on]] %% And the more anticipated regret? The more we hang on. --- ## So, how do we let go? Here’s the thing – any decision you make now shouldn’t be based on what you’ve already invested. What’s done is done. You can’t unspend the money. You can’t unpour the energy. You can’t unspend the hours. Instead, it’s about looking forward and asking yourself – *Does this still align with my values?* *Is it a priority?* *Does it fit with who I want to be?* --- ## Why justifying your decision matters %% [[knowing why can help make decisions to quit]] %% Research shows that being able to justify your choice makes it easier to let go. For me, that meant two things: ### 1. Reframing the past I had to stop seeing those five years as a waste. Instead, I started looking at what I’d gained - the lessons I learned - the skills I picked up - the connections I made. Those weren’t wasted. They were part of my journey. ### 2. Owning my decision I needed to get clear on why I was letting go. And stand by it. Quitting isn’t always a failure. Sometimes, it’s the bravest, most aligned thing we can do. --- ## My reasons for letting go Here’s what helped me finally walk away: ### My priorities changed The person I was when I started that project isn’t the person I am now. My goals, my values, my vision – they’ve all evolved. And this project? It didn’t fit anymore. ### It stopped being fun When something turns into a soul-sucking obligation rather than a joyful pursuit, it’s time to ask yourself – *What am I even doing this for?* ### I was being driven by fear I realised I was clinging on because of fear. Fear of judgment. Fear of failure. Fear of regret. And I don’t want fear running the show anymore. --- ## Letting Love lead the way %%[[Am I being guided by fear or by love?]]%% A few years ago, I came across the idea that we’re either being pushed by fear or pulled by love. And I believe it’s true. So now, whenever I have an opportunity to do something, this is the question that I always come back to – Am I being pushed by fear or pulled by love? I have recently recognised that fear was behind the last 3 years of me needing to complete my 'project'. Fear of what others would think. The fear of being wrong. The anticipated regret. *But not anymore.* Now that I'm 40, I want things to be different. I want the next half of my life to be pulled by love. --- ## Final thoughts When we’ve poured so much energy, time, effort, and emotion into something, it feels so hard to know when to quit – when to let it go. We tell ourselves that if we just keep going, try a bit harder, or throw more time and resources at it, it’ll all be worth it in the end. But that’s the sunk cost fallacy talking. A sneaky little lie that keeps us stuck, fuelled by fear. When this happens, we need to pause. Take a step back and ask ourselves: *What do I really want? What actually matters to me now?* We need to look at the time and energy we’ve already spent and remind ourselves that it wasn’t wasted. It taught us something. It brought us here. And we need to get honest about why it’s time to let go. To stop carrying the weight of what was and focus on what is. On who we are now and where we want to go next. Only then can we finally ‘finish’ what we started. --- ## Sources - %% [[(Arkes and Blumer, 1985)]] → %%Arkes, H.R. and Blumer, C. (1985) [The psychology of sunk cost](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/0749597885900494) - %% [[(Blasingame, 2011)]] → %%Blasingame, J. (2011) [Beware of the Concorde Fallacy](https://www.forbes.com/sites/jimblasingame/2011/09/15/beware-of-the-concorde-fallacy/?sh=5ea52ea54e22) - %% [[(Brewer et al., 2016)]] → %%Brewer, N.T., DeFrank, J.T. and Gilkey, M.B. (2016) [Anticipated regret and health behavior: A meta-analysis](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27607136) - %% [[(Dijkstra and Hong, 2019)]] → %%Dijkstra, K.A. and Hong, Y.Y. (2019) [The feeling of throwing good money after bad: The role of affective reaction in the sunk-cost fallacy](https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0209900) - %% [[(Martin, 2019)]] → %%Martin, J. (2019) [The low down on the sunk cost fallacy](https://espressoscience.com/2019/08/28/the-low-down-on-the-sunk-cost-fallacy/) - %% [[(Wong and Kwong, 2007)]] → %%Wong, K.F.E. and Kwong, J.Y.Y. (2007) [The role of anticipated regret in escalation of commitment](https://doi.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037/0021-9010.92.2.545)