# Quitting the Method, Not the Mission ##### Why changing how we do things doesn't mean giving up on what matters  --- I’ve been thinking a lot about quitting lately. The fear of being seen as inconsistent. Flaky. Unable to commit. It’s been a recurring theme in my life. And I’ve realised how much that fear has held me back. Whether it’s live trainings. Big projects. Or even the simplest routines. I’ve felt overwhelming pressure to keep going – even when I’m done. Why? Because quitting always felt like failure. Like proof that I’m unreliable. Untrustworthy. But here’s the truth: quitting doesn’t mean I’m giving up on the bigger picture. Sometimes, quitting is what helps you move forward. I recently read something by Athena Sayaka that hit me hard: *plan to quit.* It’s about giving yourself permission to let something go or change direction without guilt. Quitting doesn’t mean abandoning the mission. It’s about rethinking the way you get there. --- ## Quitting the method, not the mission This is where the lightbulb moment came for me. We often think that when we quit something, we’re giving up entirely. But what if we’re just quitting the method – not the mission? Athena nailed it with this idea. We get so attached to the way we think we *should* achieve our goals that when we hit a wall, we assume the whole thing is a lost cause. But it’s not about giving up on the goal – it’s about tweaking the path. Take fitness, for example. Say you’re following a specific workout program in the gym, but after a while, you’re dragging your feet, dreading every session (I know that’s not just me!). That doesn’t mean you should give up on fitness altogether. The mission (staying fit) is still there – but the method isn’t working anymore. So, you switch it up. Try a spin class. Yoga. Pilates. Or even just walking. You’re still working toward the same goal. Just in a way that suits you better right now. That’s not quitting – it’s adapting. --- ## Quit without guilt This is the tough part: quitting without guilt. Easier said than done, right? We’re conditioned to feel bad when we stop doing something we’ve committed to. We call ourselves flaky or inconsistent, worrying about what others will think. But often, the only thing that’s inconsistent is the method – not us. If you’ve ever started a project and bailed a few weeks later because it wasn’t working, you know what I mean. We get so hung up on feeling like we’ve failed – but sometimes, it just wasn’t the right fit. And that’s OK. Maybe you were doing it because you thought you *should*, or because everyone else was. Maybe you were just too exhausted to continue. That doesn’t make you a bad person. Or unreliable. It reminds me of something KC Davis says about cleaning: *it’s morally neutral.* Having dirty dishes in the sink doesn’t make you a bad person. It’s just dishes. And quitting? It’s just quitting. It doesn’t reflect on your value or reliability. It’s neutral. Quitting doesn’t make you a flake or a failure. It just means you’re doing what’s right for *you*. --- ## Letting go of live training For me, a big example of this has been live teaching. I’ve realised that talking non-stop for 60 to 90 minutes drains me. But I kept doing it. Because I was terrified that if I stopped, people would think I was inconsistent, unreliable or untrustworthy *(you getting the bullshit story I keep telling myself here?).* But here’s the thing – that fear of not being able to quit was worse than the act of quitting. And really - I’m *not* quitting the mission. I’m still helping women understand themselves, their bodies, and their hormones. I’m still teaching everything I’ve learned. I’m just quitting the method. Instead of live training, I’m moving to not-so-live trainings. --- ## Cancelling client appointments This same fear hit me hard when it comes to coaching clients – especially when I was working hands-on. I had an overwhelming fear of cancelling appointments. Even when I was really sick, I was afraid to cancel – thinking my clients would hate me or see me as unreliable. I realised I needed to change this. I couldn’t keep putting everyone else’s needs before mine. So, I made a deal with myself: if I’m not at least 80% on the day of a session, I cancel. No guilt. After all, my clients deserve my best – not some half-hearted version of me just showing up out of fear. Since I’ve given myself that permission, it’s been a huge relief. That heavy fear has lifted. Because I’ve built in a way to quit when I need to. Without guilt. And you know what? I actually cancel way less appointments than I realised. In fact, I rarely cancel. But just knowing I *could* (should I need to) meant I could show up more authentically. And without fear. --- ## Quit the method, keep the mission This idea of quitting the method but sticking to the mission applies to so many areas of life. When I first got serious about writing, I thought I had to churn out three to five blog posts a week. That didn’t last long. I burned out before I even started. But instead of thinking I’d failed or wasn’t cut out for writing – I adjusted. The mission – to share my ideas and help people – remained. I just had to change how I approached it. Now, I write when it works for me. And I’ve let go of the guilt of not hitting some arbitrary quota *(I still have no idea where “three to five blog posts” comes from).* I still show up. But in a way that’s sustainable. --- ## It’s all morally neutral Let me say this louder for the people in the back: Quitting is morally neutral. KC Davis was spot on when she said cleaning is neutral – it doesn’t make you a better or worse person whether you’ve cleaned or let the washing pile up. The same goes for quitting. Whether you stick with a project or let it go – it doesn’t make you more or less valuable as a person. We need to stop telling ourselves that quitting means we’re unreliable, flaky, or untrustworthy. Sometimes, quitting is the best thing we can do for ourselves. It’s an act of self-compassion. Acknowledging that something isn’t working and being willing to adjust. It’s not about giving up – it’s about being smart enough to change course when needed. --- ## Final thoughts: quitting isn’t failing Why do we do this to ourselves? We set massive expectations, then feel like failures when we don’t meet them. But it’s not that we can’t achieve our goals – we just need to change how we get there. There is definitely more than one way to skin a cat, right? Quitting (or rather, changing the method) is about self-kindness. It’s about recognising when something isn’t working and being brave enough to do something about it. It’s not a sign of weakness or failure. It’s part of the process of learning and growth. So next time you feel like quitting, ask yourself: Am I quitting the mission or just the method? If it’s the method – change it. Try something new. And let go of the guilt. Quitting might just be the smartest thing you can do.