# Owning the Busy **Managing stress like an ER Doctor** --- Last week, life went full chaos mode. Alongside the usual goings on of work, family, and general life admin, we got hit with stomach bugs, colds, and even a hospital visit for good measure. It was one of those weeks where everything feels “Crazy Busy.” That was until I listened to [Darria Long's TedTalk](https://youtu.be/by5oCr8bQ5E) on TED Health, "How to manage your stress like an ER doctor". %%[[stop using the term Crazy Busy]]%% In the talk, she says that "Crazy Busy" is a phrase you will never hear her use despite all the many things she has going on in her life, as well as her job as an ER Doctor. And it's a term she wants everyone else to stop using, too. %%[[when we are in Crazy Busy Mode we are less capable of handling the busy]]%% She explains that when we are in "Crazy Busy Mode", we are less capable of *handling* the busy. When our stress hormones rise, our memory, judgement and impulse control deteriorate. And the parts of our brain responsible for anger and anxiety are activated. ## Crazy Busy Vs Ready Mode %%[[we all process stress in the same way but how we react to it is up to us]]%% Now, although we may all process stress in the same way, how we *react* to it, well that's up to us. We can choose to perceive ourselves as "Crazy Busy," or we can choose to see ourselves – as Long suggests – as being in "Ready Mode". %%[[Ready Mode means knowing that whatever happens, we can handle it]]%% And being in "Ready Mode" means knowing that no matter what happens, we can handle it. >[!quote] ... > "Even on those days when you would swear you were being punked, we're not afraid of it. Because we know that whatever comes in through those ER double doors, that we can handle it. That we're ready. That's Ready Mode." ## Relentlessly triage %%[[we need to relentlessly triage the things we have to do]]%% Long says that we need to be relentlessly triaging all the things we have to do in our lives. %%[[when we are Crazy Busy Mode we react to everything as if it is life threatening]]%% When we are in Crazy Busy Mode, we react to every task, every todo, and every challenge, with the same response... URGENT! But in Ready Mode, we triage and prioritise by *degree* of urgency. We need to know our Reds.[^1] %%[[we can't do everything but we can triage]]%% Because the fact is, we cannot do everything all at once. And nor do we need to. Hence, we need to triage. We need to decide on those things that are important right now and those that can wait. Or maybe even take off the list altogether. %%[[some tasks need taking off your list]]%% >[!quote] Darria Long > Now there's one last triage level that we use in the worst scenarios. And that is black. Those patients for whom there is nothing we can do. Where we must move on. > > And although it is gut-wrenching, I mention it because you each have your own equivalent black tasks in your life. These are items that you must take off your list. > > And I think many of you know what I'm talking about. For me, this was the fundraiser. I had to step down. Because as we in the ER know, if you try to do everything, you have no hope of saving your reds. ## Get out of your own head %%[[problems come when we let our inner thoughts take over]]%% When we are in Crazy Busy Mode, we start to have these thoughts come in. The anger, the anxiety, the fear. And problems come when we let our inner thoughts take over. %%[[get out of your own head by actively putting your focus on someone or something else]]%% %%[[compassion can help us get out of our own way]]%% But this doesn't have to be the case. Because when we actively put our focus on someone or something else, we can get out of our own way and let compassion guide us instead. ## Final thoughts %%[[own the busy but stop calling it crazy]]%% As I was writing this, I literally had a call from school that my eldest wasn't feeling well and I needed to pick him up. Which meant that everything I had planned to do for the rest of the day, the week, would be thrown out. Now, I could have made myself Crazy Busy trying to fit a sick child into my already full list of 'Urgent' things I needed to be doing. But instead, I triaged. My son became my red. And everything else fell in line. Because when I stop seeing myself as Crazy Busy, when I realise that not everything is a Red on my list, I step into Ready Mode. I let compassion lead the way, and I know that no matter what happens, I can handle it. And so can you. [^1]: In medical terms, Red = immediately life-threatening. Yellow = serious but not immediately life-threatening. Green = minor.