# Feeling Bad For Needing Time Alone? ##### How discovering I was an introvert helped me accept myself  --- I could never figure out why I often felt overwhelmed in environments that excite other people. Or why I come away from outside activities feeling drained and overstimulated. Why did I enjoy people, and people appear to like me? But I often dread going out? Most of the time I feel awkward and uncomfortable. Sometimes I feel ok. But more often than not I am clock watching. Working out when I can leave and not appear rude. Why did I like being acknowledged? But feel uneasy with any attention? Why did I struggle to think, speak and breathe in stimulating environments and become easily fatigued? Why did I have a deep need to spend much of my time alone or in quiet? Why did I find small talk one of the most difficult things on the planet? But I could talk for hours and hours about subjects that are important to me? Why did I appear confident and sociable – when inside I felt anything but? I finally discovered that there was nothing wrong with me, I was just introverted. And knowing this fact helped explain many of the things I had struggled with my entire life. Things that had made me feel bad about myself. --- Introversion is a collection of traits that we are born with. It’s not about disliking people or being shy (as is often thought). In The Introvert Advantage, Marti Olsen Laney explains: >[!quote] > Introversion and extroversion are on opposite ends of an energy continuum. > > Where we fall on that continuum predicts how we derive our life energy. > > People on the more introverted end of the continuum focus inward to gain energy. > > People on the more extroverted end of the continuum focus outward to gain energy. Being an introvert means that I need to be alone to recharge my batteries. Whereas extroverts charge their batteries by doing things ‘outside’ themselves. --- Understanding myself better means that I no longer feel quite as guilty for wanting breaks from the world (including my husband and boys at times). I need this time to help me manage the feeling of being overstimulated. That feeling of physical and mental too-muchness. As I researched more and more I realised that although I had many ‘weaknesses’ (all of which I was already fully aware of) there were also many strengths that I just hadn’t appreciated. For example... Many introverts don’t feel as if they know enough about a subject until they know almost everything. This in itself has always been a ‘weakness’ for me. But the truth is that it’s not. As an introvert I am able to imagine the vastness of a subject. And I over-prepare by gaining as much information as I can. Just ask my husband! --- Apparently only 1 in 4 of us is introverted. Hence why many of us don’t even realise we are. Learning about Introversion and my own personal traits has helped me personally and professionally. It has helped with my mental health and my relationships. I no longer have to question my actions or feelings. I know who I am. And thankfully, my close friends and family do too. So when I need time alone or I cancel at the last minute – it’s not because I don’t care. Or I don’t want to be with them. It’s simply that the world has gotten too much. Too loud. Too harsh. And I need to recharge my batteries before I step outside myself again.