# Some advice ##### Untangling Pain ---  --- ## tl;dr - Progress is not linear, and a flare-up is not a failure or automatic proof of new damage. - Use your SIMs when things get tough: rest, breathing, a bath, movement, self-compassion, or whatever helps you. - Reduce intensity if you need to, let things settle, and build again from a manageable level. - This is your life and your pace; use the ideas in this course as a guide, not a rule. - Celebrate the inches, not just the leaps, and focus on joy and healing your life as well as your pain. > [!abstract]- Transcript > > Now when it comes to healing and recovery, and I know we've just been through that graded exposure where we start with five minutes and then we build up to 10 minutes and then we build up to 15 and whatever it is, and that is all well and good on paper, but it's not life. > > So the image on the screen that what people think it looks like, that is literally five minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes. We've built it up over time. Okay? It's bullshit. That's not how healing and recovery work. > > What it really looks like is this absolute mess. It's two step forward, one step back. It's doing a dance along the way, and that is life, and that is absolutely fine. > > Progress and healing doesn't need to be linear. The main thing is that we are moving forward even just a tiny amount. > > And it's funny because as you start to go through this, as you're in the middle of it, sometimes it doesn't feel like you're making much progress, but then looking back, you'll realize just how far you have come. > > Yes. There has been lots of difficulty along the way. But that's okay. 'cause that's life. Right? > > And I think it's important to realize as well that everyone is different. So adjust everything you're doing based on you. This is your life, this is not anybody else's. Everything I've given you are examples. > > they're not rules, set for you personally. So use this as a guide to help you along the way. > > And if you do have a flare up, because it will happen. It really will happen. That's what all those squiggles are about. Don't panic . Pain doesn't necessarily mean more damage. Flareups are not failures. They are part of the process. This is where we need to think about what DIMs we need to reduce > > and what SIMs we can start to bring into our life a little bit more, whether it's breathing or hot baths or movement or self-compassion. > > You know that it's these SIMs that we've been talking about. Let's bring more of them in. So when things are not going your way, this is where we wanna up the SIMs as much as we can. > > So if a flare up does happen, reduce the intensity but don't stop completely, adjust and keep going and stay at the current level until it settles, and then gently try increasing it again and build it up step by step. > > we are at the end of this training and I wanted to finish with this quote. And I love this quote. > > True healing is measured not in leaps and bounds. But in inches. > > And I think that's really important. > > Going back to the beginning I was trying to explain to you that we're not focusing on the pain or we're not focusing on reducing pain. > > What we are focusing on is healing our life, healing our soul, and we wanna look for the joy, we wanna be able to do the good things. Absolutely, pain may be stopping us, but quite often, and I literally have found this for years and years, every single client I've worked with, they may have to adapt what they want to do. > > But they will find their joy eventually. And that's what we're looking for, is looking for that joy and doing the things that make us feel good, that make our bodies feel safe. > > So again, healing is not about great, big, huge leaps and bounds. It's not. > > Healing is measured in inches. Teeny tiny little wins along the way. So celebrate every single win along the way. Everything celebrate the teeny, tiny little inches of healing that you are achieving because they matter more than you will ever realize. > > I wanna thank you so much for watching this, and I really do hope that you have gained so much benefit from this training and from the previous trainings. > > If you do have any questions, if you have any queries, if you wanna tell me what is going on with you, tell me what your DIMs and your SIMs are, what have you have learned about yourself along the way, please get in touch. > > I would really love to know. > > So on that note, I am going to love you and leave you, and thank you for watching. Thank you for being part of this with me. > > Take care. Big hugs. Bye-bye. --- %% ## Extra ## Version 1: Full What People Think Healing Looks Like That is literally five minutes, ten minutes, fifteen minutes — we’ve built it up over time Okay? It’s bullshit. That’s not how healing and recovery work What it really looks like is this absolute mess It’s two steps forward, one step back It’s doing a dance along the way And that is life, and that is absolutely fine Healing Isn’t Linear Progress and healing doesn’t need to be linear The main thing is that we are moving forward, even just a tiny amount As you’re in the middle of it, sometimes it doesn’t feel like you’re making much progress But then looking back, you’ll realize just how far you have come Yes, there has been lots of difficulty along the way But that’s okay, ‘cause that’s life This Is Your Life, Not Anyone Else’s Everyone is different, so adjust everything you’re doing based on you This is your life, this is not anybody else’s Everything I’ve given you are examples They’re not rules set for you personally So use this as a guide to help you along the way When Flareups Happen If you do have a flareup — because it will happen — it really will happen That’s what all those squiggles are about Don’t panic Pain doesn’t necessarily mean more damage Flareups are not failures They are part of the process What To Do During Flareups This is where we need to think about what DIMs we need to reduce And what SIMs we can start to bring into our life a little bit more Whether it’s breathing or hot baths or movement or self-compassion You know that it’s these SIMs that we’ve been talking about Let’s bring more of them in So when things are not going your way, this is where we wanna up the SIMs as much as we can Reduce the intensity but don’t stop completely Adjust and keep going Stay at the current level until it settles Then gently try increasing it again and build it up step by step True Healing Is Measured in Inches We are at the end of this training and I wanted to finish with this quote And I love this quote True healing is measured not in leaps and bounds. But in inches. And I think that’s really important The Real Focus of Healing Going back to the beginning I was trying to explain to you that we’re not focusing on the pain or we’re not focusing on reducing pain What we are focusing on is healing our life, healing our soul And we wanna look for the joy We wanna be able to do the good things Absolutely, pain may be stopping us But quite often — and I literally have found this for years and years — every single client I’ve worked with, they may have to adapt what they want to do But they will find their joy eventually And that’s what we’re looking for — is looking for that joy and doing the things that make us feel good, that make our bodies feel safe Celebrate Every Inch of Progress Healing is not about great, big, huge leaps and bounds It’s not Healing is measured in inches Teeny tiny little wins along the way So celebrate every single win along the way Celebrate the teeny, tiny little inches of healing that you are achieving Because they matter more than you will ever realize Final Message I wanna thank you so much for watching this I really do hope that you have gained so much benefit from this training and from the previous trainings If you do have any questions, if you have any queries, if you wanna tell me what is going on with you, tell me what your DIMs and your SIMs are, what you have learned about yourself along the way — please get in touch I would really love to know So on that note, I am going to love you and leave you Thank you for watching Thank you for being part of this with me Take care Big hugs Bye-bye ⸻ Resources or Mentioned DIMs SIMs Breathing Hot baths Movement Self-compassion Quote: “True healing is measured not in leaps and bounds. But in inches.” ## ![[Meta/01 Attachments/Untangling Pain Attachments/Image (38).png|Image.png]] ![[Meta/01 Attachments/Untangling Pain Attachments/Image (39).png|Image.png]] --- ## Watch the lesson %%