# Adding in more SIMs ##### Untangling Pain ---  --- ## tl;dr - Make a list of your SIMs: the people, places, actions, words, beliefs, and sensations that help you feel safe. - SIMs can be tiny glimmers such as music, birds, coffee, a hug, or a quiet moment. - Bring more of them into daily life through sleep, movement, breathing, learning, and the things you enjoy. - Remind yourself that pain now does not mean pain forever, and reach out to people who feel safe. - Keep reviewing and adding to your list, especially when pain has made your world feel small. > [!abstract]- Transcript > > So this next step is all about adding in more SIMs. Hopefully you've created this list of SIMs for you. These things that make you feel safe, make your body feel safe. What we want to do is be able to use those more. And what you'll probably find is the more you go through this, the more you recognize that there are SIMs that you haven't even put down yet. > > And there are SIMs out there, but quite often when we're in pain, we just focus on the DIMs. That's what we're focused on, so, so much. We don't focus on the things that make us feel good, that bring us joy, that make us feel alive. And it doesn't have to be a big thing at all. Like we've gone through, they don't have to be big things, but let's identify more SIMs. > > Let's look for the glimmers in our life. Those little moments that really bring us joy. > > I have a protein shake each morning for breakfast and it's chocolate, but I put coffee in it and every morning I smell the coffee and it's like this deep inhale and it just brings me so much joy just to smell this coffee. Or I've got Basil growing on my kitchen sill, and I'm not a very big gardener at all, but I do have a few little plants that I look after in the house and when the Basil is growing too big then I snip it and that smell of basil and taking my time and just clipping the leaves off the Basil bush. It just makes me feel safe. It's nice. It just makes me feel good. We're not looking at massive great, big, huge things that we're doing. We're not looking for them. These SIMs quite often are tiny little moments, tiny little things that make you feel safe and they add up over time. > > That is what we are looking for. > > When it comes to things that you do. Learning about your pain can help massively. Dancing, breathing, prioritizing your bedtime, your health. They all help. > > When it comes to these things that you do, you have control over these. You have control. So when you maybe have a flare up, what are the DIMs that we've reduced? 'cause we've been reducing them, but let's look at the SIMs. What can you do to make your body feel safe despite the pain? I know the pain is fucking horrendous and it sucks, but let's focus on the stuff that we can do. > > So even if we can't dance in the kitchen, let's stick some music on, right? Because it makes us feel good. Let's do some deep breathing because it makes us feel good. It makes our body feel safe. Let's prioritize our sleep. Let's prioritize our bedtime. We are gonna have an early night. > > I'm gonna have a bath. I'm gonna put on some lotion. I'm gonna look after me, I'm gonna read my book in bed, and I'm going to just do that because it makes my body feel safe. > > When it comes to things that you say. You have control over your SIMs when it comes to things that you say, and this is where obviously affirmations come in. > > It's these little things that you say to yourself, > > I am strong, I am capable. Things are getting better. > > All these things, these positive things, they make us feel safe, and that's what we want, right? That is what we want. > > Things you think and believe more SIMs, let's get more of these in. > > So we reduce those DIMs, those bullshit things that we've thought and believed. > > They're very much related to things that you say. I'm not talking about like positive woo stuff. I don't mean that. I'm talking about the things that are true. > > Things like, having pain now doesn't mean it will always be this way. I know things can change. I know things adapt. I know I can change my fire alarms. I know this flare up doesn't mean that I've damaged anything. > > So when things are not quite going right let's think and believe something different. > > And if you can't do it on your own, this is where books come in and podcasts and they all can all help you think and believe differently. And that obviously influences your pain. > > So places that you go, SIMs. We wanna go to more places that make you feel safe and you need to identify yours. If, for example, sitting by the lake or up the mountain or sitting in your garden makes you feel safe. That's what we want to be doing. > > Especially when we're having trouble, when our nervous system is on fire and we're struggling, where is the place that you can go that makes you feel safe? > > And we want more people in your life that make you feel safe. > > So who is it that you can Add into your life? And you might have made a list now, but as you go on in life, there are gonna be more people that make you feel safe or that you've identified that make you feel safe. > > And it might be safe in certain situations, but again when things are not quite right who is it that you can spend more time with that makes you feel safe? > > And I think quite often especially with chronic pain, our world gets smaller, don't they? > > We stop seeing people and sometimes it is because that person is a dim for us. But, we might stop seeing people because we're afraid of what they think or whatever it is, but actually that person can make us feel safe again. So reach out to those people in your life that make you feel safe. > > Now things happening in your body that make you feel safe. I'm actually gonna bypass this one because there's not a huge amount of change that we can influence on this, but it's just being able to identify what those SIMs are in the first place. > > And then obviously things you hear, see, smell, taste, touch. These are things that you have control over. So when it comes to listening to music, listening to the birds outside, watching programs that make you feel good, smelling lavender or coffee tasting chocolate, chocolate is very much a sin for me. I love chocolate. And touch, just feeling that hug, that massive hug. > > I am going to spend time getting more of these, especially when I'm struggling. These are the times then to add in more of these SIMs. > > This is where I really want you to think about what SIMs you've already written down. What other ones you could add to it and how you can bring more of these into your life on a daily basis, because that is what we want. > > We want less DIMs and we want a hell of a lot more SIMs in our life. Next lesson → [[Untangling Pain – Module 4 Lesson 09 – Step 2 Build Shit Up|Step 2 Build Shit Up]] %% ## Extra ## Version 1: Full Adding in More SIMs Hopefully you’ve created this list of SIMs for you These things that make you feel safe, make your body feel safe What we want to do is be able to use those more You’ll probably find as you go through this, you’ll recognize there are SIMs you haven’t even put down yet There are SIMs out there, but quite often when we’re in pain, we just focus on the DIMs That’s what we’re focused on, so, so much We don’t focus on the things that make us feel good, that bring us joy, that make us feel alive It doesn’t have to be a big thing at all Like we’ve gone through, they don’t have to be big things Let’s identify more SIMs Let’s look for the glimmers in our life Those little moments that really bring us joy Small, Simple SIMs I have a protein shake each morning for breakfast and it’s chocolate, but I put coffee in it Every morning I smell the coffee and it’s like this deep inhale and it just brings me so much joy just to smell this coffee I’ve got basil growing on my kitchen sill I’m not a very big gardener at all, but I do have a few little plants that I look after in the house When the basil is growing too big, I snip it That smell of basil and taking my time and just clipping the leaves off the basil bush, it just makes me feel safe It’s nice It just makes me feel good We’re not looking at massive, great, big, huge things that we’re doing These SIMs quite often are tiny little moments, tiny little things that make you feel safe and they add up over time That is what we are looking for Things You Do Learning about your pain can help massively Dancing, breathing, prioritizing your bedtime, your health → they all help You have control over these So when you maybe have a flare up, what are the DIMs that we’ve reduced? Let’s look at the SIMs What can you do to make your body feel safe despite the pain? I know the pain is fucking horrendous and it sucks, but let’s focus on the stuff that we can do Even if we can’t dance in the kitchen, let’s stick some music on, right? Because it makes us feel good Let’s do some deep breathing because it makes us feel good It makes our body feel safe Let’s prioritize our sleep Let’s prioritize our bedtime We are gonna have an early night I’m gonna have a bath I’m gonna put on some lotion I’m gonna look after me I’m gonna read my book in bed I’m going to just do that because it makes my body feel safe Things You Say You have control over your SIMs when it comes to things that you say This is where obviously affirmations come in It’s these little things that you say to yourself I am strong, I am capable Things are getting better All these things, these positive things, they make us feel safe That’s what we want, right? That is what we want Things You Think and Believe More SIMs → let’s get more of these in We reduce those DIMs, those bullshit things that we’ve thought and believed They’re very much related to things that you say I’m not talking about like positive woo stuff I don’t mean that I’m talking about the things that are true Things like, having pain now doesn’t mean it will always be this way I know things can change I know things adapt I know I can change my fire alarms I know this flare up doesn’t mean that I’ve damaged anything So when things are not quite going right, let’s think and believe something different If you can’t do it on your own, this is where books come in and podcasts They can all help you think and believe differently That obviously influences your pain Places You Go SIMs → we wanna go to more places that make you feel safe You need to identify yours If sitting by the lake or up the mountain or sitting in your garden makes you feel safe, that’s what we want to be doing Especially when we’re having trouble, when our nervous system is on fire and we’re struggling Where is the place that you can go that makes you feel safe? People in Your Life We want more people in your life that make you feel safe Who is it that you can add into your life? You might have made a list now, but as you go on in life, there are gonna be more people that make you feel safe or that you’ve identified It might be safe in certain situations Again, when things are not quite right, who is it that you can spend more time with that makes you feel safe? Quite often, especially with chronic pain, our world gets smaller, don’t they? We stop seeing people Sometimes it is because that person is a DIM for us But we might stop seeing people because we’re afraid of what they think or whatever it is But actually that person can make us feel safe again So reach out to those people in your life that make you feel safe Your Body Things happening in your body that make you feel safe → I’m actually gonna bypass this one There’s not a huge amount of change that we can influence on this But it’s just being able to identify what those SIMs are in the first place Things You Hear, See, Smell, Taste, Touch These are things that you have control over Listening to music, listening to the birds outside Watching programs that make you feel good Smelling lavender or coffee Tasting chocolate → chocolate is very much a SIM for me, I love chocolate Touch → just feeling that hug, that massive hug I am going to spend time getting more of these, especially when I’m struggling These are the times then to add in more of these SIMs What to Do Now Think about what SIMs you’ve already written down What other ones you could add to it How you can bring more of these into your life on a daily basis That is what we want We want less DIMs and we want a hell of a lot more SIMs in our life ⸻ Resources or Mentioned Books Podcasts ⸻ ## ![[Meta/01 Attachments/Untangling Pain Attachments/Image (32).png|Image.png]] --- ## Watch the lesson %%