# Things that you think and believe, places you go & things you hear, see, smell, taste, touch ##### Untangling Pain ---  --- ## tl;dr - Thoughts and beliefs can be DIMs, like “I’m broken”, or SIMs, like “my body can improve”. - Places can work the same way: the doctors, gym, or work may feel threatening, while home or a dance class may feel safe. - What you hear, see, smell, taste, and touch can also turn danger up or bring comfort. - Make your own list across thoughts, places, and senses rather than assuming everyone’s will be the same. - If you find a DIM, look for its opposite; it may help you spot a SIM. > [!abstract]- Transcript > > So moving on to things that you think and believe. > > Things you think and believe that activate that fight or flight response. So DIMs my pain, will never get better. I'm broken and can't be fixed. I can't do anything about this. > > People are fed up of me complaining. > > Again, these beliefs that we, we have, oh my goodness how badly do they make us feel? That's gonna activate that nervous system and it's gonna influence our pain. Whereas the SIMs, the things that we think and believe, believing that having pain now doesn't mean it will always be this way. > > I mentioned previously that yes, the body can adapt. Yes, it can add more fire alarms. But it can also take them away. It can improve. And we know this science has shown us this. If we can believe that having pain now doesn't mean it will always be this way, oh my goodness, how much does that create a safety in me to know that things can change? > > Thinking and believing that I'm getting stronger each day. Yeah, it might be tiny little steps, but believing it and thinking I am getting stronger. I am doing a little bit more, that is really reinforcing that we are safe. > > When I go through these, I tend to go by what's the dim, so I can't do anything about it. And a SIM would be. I know what I need to do. We are looking at the opposites quite often. This is the way that you can do it is look and find the opposites. So SIMs, I know what I need to do. That thinking and that belief can create this safety in us. > > Another sim that we think and believe is, I am not alone. > > To know that we are not alone in this, to know there are other people going through the same thing. To know that there are other people that will actually help you, that can create a massive safety in us, and that's really important when it comes to pain. So again, list down your DIMs and your SIMs. > > Things you think and things you believe. > > Places you go. Write a list of DIMs and SIMs of the places you go. > > So DIMs the doctors. I think this is a dim for a lot of people. It makes them feel anxious. It sets off their nervous system, that fight or flight response. So the doctors can be a massive dim for people. > > Another can be the hospital. Obviously that's a massive dim, isn't it for so many people .The gym. For some people it might be a sim, but for others it might be a dim. So it's identifying what is yours. > > Now, you'll see on here work I've actually put as a DIM and a sin because that's what it can be. > > It can be a DIM, it can make us feel like there is a danger, like there is a threat. But it may also feel like a safety for us. It's all about context and it's figuring out when work is a dim for you, if it is, and when it's a sim for you. Are there certain things that you do or certain aspects of your work that create that dim and certain aspects that make it feel more like a sim? > > So SIMs. Sitting by the lake was a one of my clients. Just taking some time out just made her feel safe and she loved that. Home is a massive sim for me. I feel safe at home. And I would say probably most people do too to a point. > > But home is a massive one for me. > > Dance class. That was another client of mine. Being in her dance class just made her feel safe. It made her feel happy. It made her feel strong and confident even when she was in pain. Just being there, being around her friends made her feel safe. > > So again, what are your DIMs and SIMs when it comes to places that you go? > > Things you hear, see, smell, taste, touch. What are your DIMs and what are your SIMs when it comes to this? These are examples that I've put down. So a dim might be no pain, no gain. Okay, so things you hear, no pain, no gain, right? Yeah, it's bullshit. As you'll see another dim is seeing an x-ray. > > So that can really set people off that fight or flight response just goes crazy when we look at an x-ray especially when it's ours. DIMs. Hearing that you will end up in a wheelchair. Holy shit, could you have any more of a dim than that? And that is exactly what one of my clients has been told. > > It's bullshit. There's no guarantee. It was horrendous. And that just created this massive dim within her, and she really fucking struggled after that. So being told, you'll end up in a wheelchair. What a dim is that? > > The phone ringing notifications. > > This was actually one of mine. At one point in my life. So every time I got a notification on my phone, my fight or flight response went crazy. My nervous system was just on fire. And that was a massive dim for me. It's not so much now, maybe a tiny little bit. > > I think for a lot of people, our notifications do set that nervous system off. So it may be a dim for you too. SIMs, hearing that my scan is all clear makes you feel safe, right? So that's all good. Rubbing lotion into my body. That feeling that touch. > > So whether it's on yourself, touch with somebody else. Kiss. Cuddles, holy moly. Just a massive big bear hug. My husband and in particular, my, my youngest son, gives the best hugs and it makes me feel safe. Lavender, the smell of lavender is a big one for me. I love the smell of lavender and it just calms my nervous system. Listening to music. > > I think that's a massive sin for so many people. Maybe identifying exactly what music makes you feel safe because we want more of that. And the feeling of the sun on my face. That's a massive sim for me. It just makes me feel safe and I can go outside sunshine on my face, my eyes closed, breathing, listening to the birds. > > Oh, perfect feeling of safety. So it's identifying what are your DIMs and SIMs. You can break this up as much as you like into things you hear, see, smell, taste, and touch. Or you can put them all together, whatever works for you. Next lesson → [[Untangling Pain – Module 4 Lesson 05 – People in your life|People in your life]] %% ## Extra ## Version 1: Full Things You Think and Believe That Activate the Fight or Flight Response DIMs: my pain will never get better I’m broken and can’t be fixed I can’t do anything about this People are fed up of me complaining These beliefs that we have, oh my goodness, how badly do they make us feel? That’s gonna activate that nervous system and it’s gonna influence our pain Things You Think and Believe That Create Safety SIMs: believing that having pain now doesn’t mean it will always be this way I mentioned previously that yes, the body can adapt Yes, it can add more fire alarms But it can also take them away It can improve We know this, science has shown us this If we can believe that having pain now doesn’t mean it will always be this way, oh my goodness, how much does that create a safety in me to know that things can change? Thinking and believing that I’m getting stronger each day It might be tiny little steps, but believing it and thinking I am getting stronger I am doing a little bit more That is really reinforcing that we are safe How to Identify SIMs and DIMs in Beliefs When I go through these, I tend to go by what’s the dim: I can’t do anything about it A SIM would be: I know what I need to do We are looking at the opposites quite often This is the way that you can do it: look and find the opposites SIMs: I know what I need to do That thinking and that belief can create this safety in us Another SIM that we think and believe is: I am not alone To know that we are not alone in this To know there are other people going through the same thing To know there are other people that will actually help you That can create a massive safety in us That’s really important when it comes to pain So again, list down your DIMs and your SIMs Things you think and things you believe Places You Go Write a list of DIMs and SIMs of the places you go DIMs: the doctors I think this is a dim for a lot of people It makes them feel anxious It sets off their nervous system, that fight or flight response The doctors can be a massive dim for people Another can be the hospital Obviously that’s a massive dim, isn’t it, for so many people The gym: for some people it might be a sim, but for others it might be a dim It’s identifying what is yours Work: I’ve actually put as a DIM and a SIM It can be a DIM, it can make us feel like there is a danger, like there is a threat But it may also feel like a safety for us It’s all about context It’s figuring out when work is a dim for you, if it is And when it’s a sim for you Are there certain things that you do or certain aspects of your work that create that dim And certain aspects that make it feel more like a sim SIMs in Places SIMs: sitting by the lake was one of my clients Just taking some time out just made her feel safe and she loved that Home is a massive sim for me I feel safe at home I would say probably most people do too to a point But home is a massive one for me Dance class: that was another client of mine Being in her dance class just made her feel safe It made her feel happy It made her feel strong and confident even when she was in pain Just being there, being around her friends made her feel safe So again, what are your DIMs and SIMs when it comes to places that you go? Things You Hear, See, Smell, Taste, Touch What are your DIMs and what are your SIMs when it comes to this? These are examples that I’ve put down A dim might be: “no pain, no gain” Yeah, it’s bullshit Another dim is seeing an x-ray That can really set people off That fight or flight response just goes crazy when we look at an x-ray, especially when it’s ours DIMs: hearing that you will end up in a wheelchair Holy shit, could you have any more of a dim than that? That is exactly what one of my clients has been told It’s bullshit There’s no guarantee It was horrendous That just created this massive dim within her She really fucking struggled after that Being told “you’ll end up in a wheelchair”—what a dim is that? Notifications and Technology The phone ringing Notifications This was actually one of mine at one point in my life Every time I got a notification on my phone, my fight or flight response went crazy My nervous system was just on fire That was a massive dim for me It’s not so much now, maybe a tiny little bit I think for a lot of people, our notifications do set that nervous system off So it may be a dim for you too SIMs from the Senses and Experience SIMs: hearing that my scan is all clear Makes you feel safe, right? So that’s all good Rubbing lotion into my body—that feeling, that touch Whether it’s on yourself, touch with somebody else Kiss, cuddles—holy moly Just a massive big bear hug My husband, and in particular, my youngest son gives the best hugs and it makes me feel safe Lavender—the smell of lavender is a big one for me I love the smell of lavender and it just calms my nervous system Listening to music I think that’s a massive sim for so many people Maybe identifying exactly what music makes you feel safe because we want more of that The feeling of the sun on my face That’s a massive sim for me It just makes me feel safe I can go outside, sunshine on my face, my eyes closed, breathing, listening to the birds Oh, perfect feeling of safety Personalizing Your Lists So it’s identifying what are your DIMs and SIMs You can break this up as much as you like into things you hear, see, smell, taste, and touch Or you can put them all together Whatever works for you ⸻ Resources or Mentioned Fire alarm analogy Lavender Music X-rays Dance class Hugging Sunlight “No pain, no gain” phrase Science showing the body can improve ## ![[Meta/01 Attachments/Untangling Pain Attachments/Image (26).png|Image.png]] ![[Meta/01 Attachments/Untangling Pain Attachments/Image (27).png|Image.png]] ![[Meta/01 Attachments/Untangling Pain Attachments/Image (28).png|Image.png]] --- ## Watch the lesson %%