# Social Connections ##### Untangling Pain --- ![](https://youtu.be/5Za9lbdB6xc) --- ## tl;dr **Family and pain** - Family support is vital and linked to lower pain and disability - Family strain worsens pain, especially with new chronic conditions - Chronic pain affects the whole family - Support, especially non-judgmental, is needed to get through tough times - If family support isn’t there, seek it from other areas **Friends and social support** - Social relationships influence pain, especially in women - “Tend and befriend” theory explains stress response through connection - Social interactions lower stress and can reduce pain **Intimate relationships** - Relationships impact pain levels and coping - Chronic pain can strain relationships - Positive, supportive relationships reduce pain and disability - Couples-based interventions can help rebuild affected relationships **Work and pain** - Pain and work are connected → physically and psychologically - High demands, low control, and poor support link to pain - Pain affects self-worth, judgment, and financial worries - Work can become a DIM or SIM - Identify which it is for you and explore how to shift it - Ignoring it doesn’t work → start by addressing how it makes you feel --- ## Transcript Next we're going to look at the social side or the people factor that can add to the pain response and we're going to look at family, friends, intimate relationships and work. Starting off with family. Family support can play a significant role in managing pain, especially for women, and better family functioning is actually associated with lower pain, intensity and disability. It's also been found that family strain is linked to worse pain in midlife adults especially with new chronic pain. It's a hard one too because chronic pain, it doesn't just affect the person, chronic pain affects and impacts the entire family. It could be that vicious cycle that's going on. But I do think that having that family support is vital. And if your pain is affecting your family, then this is something that needs to be addressed, either with counseling or extra support. Because the fact is you need that support. You need that non judgmental support to get you through the tough times. Now I don't really have much more to say on this because everyone is different. But again, the research is there and doctors are always talking about having, a support system for a reason. So if you do not have a support system, then this is something that you need to look at. And it may be that you can't get it from your family. And I'm really sorry if that's the case, but then that's where we need to look at support from other areas. And this needs this leads, I can't speak. This leads nicely to the next part. So friends. Research suggests that social relationships can influence pain experiences and this is especially true in women. There's a thing that's called tend and befriend. This is where this theory says that humans, especially women, they often respond to stress by tending to young ones, or by seeking connection or befriending another. And when we have more social interactions and connections, it's been found that stress levels reduce. And again, we've already been through how stress can influence pain. So again, sometimes having that friend around, And again, that support system can help with pain. Looking at intimate relationships, this is a continuation from the family part, I suppose, because research suggests that relationships can significantly influence pain experience. And again, no shit, right? Chronic pain can strain relationships, and obviously this can lead to decreased relationship quality. And again, increased family stress, which again, we know. It's also been found that positive relationships can reduce pain and having higher relationship satisfaction and support, they're actually associated with better pain coping and reduced disability. So this is where things like couples based interventions have actually been shown promising in rebuilding relationships. Especially those that have been affected by chronic pain. And again, we know that this can have the reverse effect and that the more support we have can actually reduce pain too. So on to work. Now this is, as well as all the others, it's a complex part of the equation and one where the research is not the best, but pain and work are related. Firstly, depending on the job, this can influence pain. So if we have a demanding physical job, obviously this can increase the chance that we have pain, although that does depend on the person and the job. But also with thinking of not just the physical demands, but the psychological demands as well. One of the research papers that I found that high job demands, low control over their job, and lack of social support were linked to pain. This was actually in musicians, the actual paper was in musicians, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't affect other occupations as well. It just means that they specifically looked at musicians for this research paper. Anyway, there is also the other aspect where pain And having pain affects our work. This is huge in terms of self worth, and judgment, self judgment, I think. it's hard when we want to work, but our pain is stopping us. then we worry about what other people are thinking and about how we're going to pay the bills. So again, there's this big cycle. Obviously, work then can become a massive DIM for us. So what do we do? Do we leave our job if it's causing this pain? Or do we go back to work despite the pain? Honestly, I don't have an answer for you. I wish I did. But everybody's got their own personal story and their own personal puzzle. I know I keep saying it, but it's true that It's personal to you. So whether work is a DIM or a SIM for you, this is something that you need to identify. That's where we start, that's where we're going to look at and that's where we can go from there. So if work is a DIM for you, if it makes, if the thought of work makes you feel not safe, and it brings up a lot of negative emotions, then that's something that you need to approach and work on. We can't just ignore it. Ignoring things doesn't work like that. What we want to do is make our work a SIM, and think about all the ways that we can make that happen. And again, I wish I could say to you specifically what it was. I can do that much more on, on one to ones. But I want you to think about whether work is a DIM or a SIM for you and go from there. --- Next lesson → [[Untangling Pain – Module 2 Lesson 12|next lesson]] %% - [[Family support can play a significant role in managing pain, especially for women]] - [[social relationships can influence pain experiences and this is especially true in women]] - [[Intimate relationships can significantly influence pain experience]] - [[Work is a complex part of the Pain equation]]