# Day 3: Lighten Your Load ##### Find Your Way Home --- > Imagine a backpack that’s heavy with things you don’t need: other people’s expectations, your own expectations, old stories, beliefs, habits. Stuff that’s not even yours to carry. > > Even when your direction is clear, carrying all that weight makes it hard to move forward. > > We can do a lot, but not everything at once. If you don’t have the time or energy for what truly matters, something has to come off your back. ---  --- ## Today’s Tasks: 1. Watch the video above. 2. Take some time to work through today’s worksheet → [[What are you carrying that you no longer need.pdf]]. 3. Share what's come up for you in [[The Cosy Couch Collective]]. --- ## Notes ##### What Today is About - You’re on a journey home. You’ve [[Find Your Way Home – Day 1|checked your compass]] and [[Find Your Way Home – Day 2|found your bearings]]. - Now it’s time to **look at what you’re carrying that’s slowing you down**. - Imagine a backpack that’s heavy with things you don’t need: other people’s expectations, your own expectations, old stories, beliefs, habits. Stuff that’s not even yours to carry. >[!note] *You can’t climb the next mountain if you’re carrying everyone else’s gear.* - Even when your direction is clear, carrying all that weight makes it hard to move forward. - We can do a lot, but not everything at once. If you don’t have the time or energy for what truly matters, **something has to come off your back**. ##### Why This Matters - Carrying too much leaves you stretched thin, resentful, stuck, and out of alignment. - Most of what fills our backpack, we didn’t consciously choose. We said yes because we *should*, to avoid disappointing others, or because we were taught to be the capable, strong, reliable “good girl.” - Tightening the straps and carrying on comes at a cost. There’s no room left for you. - The good news: **we don’t have to carry it anymore**. ##### Using Your Worksheet - Today’s worksheet: [[What are you carrying that you no longer need.pdf]] - Think of it as an **unpacking exercise**. - Empty your backpack: big things, small things, emotional stuff, invisible stuff. ##### Examples of What to Name - Tasks you don’t need to do. - Responsibilities that aren’t really yours. - Relationships that drain you. - Beliefs that no longer serve you (e.g., “I need to be perfect,” “I must hold everything together,” “Saying no is selfish”). - Roles you’ve outgrown. For example, I no longer carry my old role as a biomechanics and massage therapist. ##### Questions to Guide You - What am I carrying that I no longer need? - What feels heavy or draining, even if it looks small? - What am I holding on to out of guilt, habit, or fear? - Where am I saying yes when my body is whispering no? ##### A Personal Note - Your backpack doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s. Capacity differs. - Stuff carried out of guilt or habit needs to go. No need to burn it all down—just start making space. - Awareness is powerful. Naming it is the first step. ##### Examples From My Backpack - Not asking for help - Saying yes to extra projects because “I’m capable” - Trying to please everyone - Managing everyone’s emotions - Organising everything - Keeping up online - Taking selfies for a “perfect” image - Taking my kids to school when they’re old enough to go by themselves - Needing to be liked - Practical things (like the school run) and emotional things (like comparing online) both matter. - Letting go even **a little** frees time and energy for what matters: journaling, reading, coffee in peace. ##### Remember - You don’t need to plan or fix everything. Just **name it**. - You don’t have to let it all go today. Start small. Say no. Hand one thing back. - *No is a complete sentence.* ##### Today’s Focus - Fill in your worksheet and **notice what you’ve been carrying**. - Head to the Facebook group and share what you’re letting go of. - Even just naming the things is progress. - Tomorrow we move into **[[Find Your Way Home – Day 4|Day 4: Choose Your Path]]**, imagining what a life in alignment looks like. --- ## Transcript Okay, so we’re on to day three. This one’s called *lighten your load.* So the idea here – whether it’s an analogy or a metaphor, who knows – is that you’re on a journey home. You’ve checked your compass. You’ve found your bearings. And now it’s time to look at what you’re carrying that’s slowing you down. So imagine you’ve got a backpack on. You’re walking this path towards home, but the backpack is heavy. Even when you know where you’re heading, it’s hard to move forward when you’re weighed down by things you don’t actually need. Other people’s expectations. Your own expectations. Old stories, beliefs, habits. Stuff that’s not even yours to carry. No matter how clear your direction is, if you’re lugging all that around, it’s still going to feel fucking heavy. I actually wrote down this line: *you can’t climb the next mountain if you’re carrying everyone else’s gear.* I quite like that. Because it’s true – we’ve all got this load on our backs, and it’s time to let some of it go. I genuinely believe we can do almost anything. We can do many things at once. But we can’t do *everything* at once. If you haven’t got the time or energy to focus on what truly matters, then something has to come off your back. When we don’t, we end up stretched thin. Resentful. Stuck. Out of alignment. And all that stuff we carry? It drains us of energy for the things that actually matter. And the funny part is, most of what fills our backpack – we didn’t even consciously choose. We said yes because we felt like we *should.* Because we didn’t want to disappoint anyone. Because we were taught to be the capable one, the strong one, the reliable one, the helper, the “good girl.” So even when the straps dig in, we just tighten them and keep going. Because that’s what we do, right? But the constant carrying comes at a cost. When your backpack’s full of other people’s needs and bullshit beliefs, there’s no room left for you. And I’ve realised something. We don’t have to carry it anymore. The older I get – late 30s, 40s, 50s – the less willing I am to carry other people’s crap. I’m being more selfish. I’m unlearning the people-pleasing. I’m trying to live in alignment. Anyway. Let’s talk about today’s worksheet. This one’s called *What are you carrying that you no longer need?* Think of it as an unpacking exercise. The last few days we’ve been figuring out what we *do* want. Today, it’s time to name what we don’t. So imagine literally emptying your backpack out on the floor. All of it – big things, small things, emotional stuff, invisible stuff. On your worksheet, you’ll see a bunch of boxes. Each one is a space to name something that’s been weighing you down. It could be a task you’re doing that you don’t need to. Something you said yes to but shouldn’t have. A responsibility that’s not really yours. A relationship dynamic that’s draining you. It could be a belief – like thinking you need to be perfect, or that you have to hold everything together, or that saying no makes you selfish. Or maybe it’s a role you’ve outgrown. For me, that was being a biomechanics and massage therapist. That used to fit. It doesn’t anymore. There’s no right or wrong here. If it feels heavy, it belongs on the page. Now, when you start doing this, you might get stuck. You might second-guess yourself. Try to talk yourself out of it. But honestly, you already *know* what belongs on this list. Ask yourself: – What am I carrying that I no longer need? – What feels heavy or draining, even if it looks small on paper? – What am I holding on to out of guilt, habit, or fear? – Where am I saying yes when my whole body is whispering no? And remember – your backpack doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s. Mine’s smaller than a lot of people’s. My capacity is smaller. I’ve learned to be okay with that. And we never know what someone else is carrying anyway. Their backpack might be full of feathers. Yours might be full of fucking rocks. It’s different for everyone. If you’re holding on to something out of guilt or habit – like running a class because you’ve *always* run it, or saying yes because you don’t want to let someone down – that’s the stuff that needs to go. You don’t have to burn it all down. You’re just making a bit of space for what matters. Here are some of the things I’ve found in my own backpack: – Not asking for help when I need it – Saying yes to extra projects because “I’m capable” – Trying to please everyone – Managing everyone’s emotions – Being the one who thinks she has to organise everything – Trying to keep up with everyone online – Taking selfies I don’t even like to create a “perfect” image – Taking my kids to school when they’re old enough to get the bus – Needing to be liked Some of those are practical. Like the school run – letting that go saves me 10 hours a week. Ten hours I can now spend journaling, reading, drinking coffee in peace. Some are emotional. Like trying to keep up with everyone online. Both kinds matter. So as you fill this in, remember – you don’t need to plan or fix everything you write down. You’re just naming it. Because if you don’t name it, you can’t let it go. Look at your list afterwards. Are you surprised at how much you’ve been carrying? How much of it isn’t even yours? That awareness alone is powerful. You don’t have to let it all go today. Start small. Hand one thing back to the person it belongs to. Say no to something. Remember: no is a complete sentence. For me, I’m letting go of comparing myself to everyone else, and showing up like this – recording, squeaky chair and all. Because that’s how alignment happens. So, we’ve checked our compass. Found our bearings. Now we’re lightening our load. Even just naming the things is progress. Tomorrow we’ll start imagining where you want to go next – what a life in alignment actually looks like. For today, focus on this worksheet. Head to the Facebook group and let me know what you’re letting go of. I’ll see you tomorrow.