# Day 2: Find Your Bearings ##### Find Your Way Home --- > So, now you know what matters to you. You have your anchors. But before moving toward them, we need to ask: Am I actually living it? > > Today is about making sure our inner and outer worlds are aligned. ---  --- ## Today’s Tasks: 1. Watch the video above. 2. Take some time to work through today’s worksheet → [[Are you in alignment.pdf]]. 3. Share what's come up for you in [[The Cosy Couch Collective]]. --- ## Notes ##### What Today is About - Once you’ve checked your compass ([[Find Your Way Home – Day 1|Day 1]]), it’s time to figure out **where you are on the map**. - You know what matters to you. You have your anchors. But before moving toward them, ask: **Am I actually living it?** - This awareness might feel uncomfortable. That’s okay. You can’t change course or move forward without knowing where you are right now. ##### Inner World vs Outer World - **Inner world:** what matters to you, your values, your truth. - **Outer world:** your life as it currently is, your actions and environment. - Today is about making sure your inner and outer worlds are **aligned**. ##### Alignment / Congruency - Congruency = your life matches what you say matters. - When you’re out of alignment, you feel tension or something off. Maybe you can’t name it, but it’s there. - Example from me: recording these videos. I value showing up as my authentic self, but recording a scripted, polished version wasn’t me. There was incongruency. It didn’t feel right. I needed to change it. ##### Why This Happens 1. Sometimes what we’re doing in our outer world **used to matter** but doesn’t anymore. Example: my work as a biomechanics and remedial massage therapist fit once but not now. 2. Sometimes we **know what matters but can’t live it**. Too many responsibilities, roles, expectations, or a life built around everyone else’s needs. ##### Using Your Worksheet - Worksheet: [[Are you in alignment.pdf]] - Two columns: 1. **What you say matters** (pull from Day One worksheet) 2. **Are you living it?** - Write one item per line. - If yes: notice what alignment feels like in your body. Keep doing that. - If no or maybe not: gentle awareness, no guilt. Ask why you’re not living it. ##### Questions to Reflect On - Are there too many things on your plate? - Does what mattered in a past season still matter? - Are you holding on to old versions of yourself? - Where are you saying yes when you want to say no? - What obstacles are standing in your way? ##### Key Notes - You might think you need more discipline, but sometimes what you need is **permission**. For me, it was permission to show up as myself. - Take your time with this. No rush. No self-judgment. - The goal isn’t to fix everything today. It’s **awareness**—seeing patterns, noticing alignment and incongruency. ##### Today’s Focus - Does your inner world match your outer world? - Notice where you’re aligned and where you’re out of sync. - Identify any versions of yourself that need to be released. - Keep reflecting throughout the day. - This awareness is how we begin to **find our way home**. - Tomorrow we’ll move to [[Find Your Way Home – Day 3|Day 3: Lighten Your Load]] --- ## Transcript Okay, so we're on to day two. This is all about finding your bearings. Once you've checked your compass – which is what we did on day one – you need to figure out where you are on the map. I'm using an analogy here, obviously. So today is all about your map. You already know what matters to you because that’s what we did yesterday. You’ve got your anchors. But before we move forward towards them, you need to look around and ask yourself, am I actually living it? This awareness that you’ve got now, or this little bit more awareness you’ve got from yesterday, might not be comfortable, but this awareness is what we need. Because we can’t change course, we can’t head towards where we’re going, unless we know where we are right now. So yeah, it might be a little bit uncomfortable for you, but today is all about figuring out – you’ve got your inner compass, which is your what matters to you, that’s your inner world. Then you’ve got your outer world, your outer life, that’s your bearings. We want to make sure they’re pointing in the same direction, that they’re aligned. That’s what this is all about. Let me just talk about congruency or alignment. Congruency is when your life matches what you say matters. When who you are on the inside shows up in what you’re doing in the outer world. One of the things I’ve figured out from recording this workshop is that showing up as my authentic self – showing up as me – really, really fucking matters to me. And yet I recorded these videos the other day, reading a script. Which wasn’t right. I mean, I need a script because otherwise I waffle, but it just wasn’t me. It meant that my inner world – me saying that showing up as myself without trying to perform, without trying to be anyone other than me – I’m saying that matters, and yet I’m not doing it. And that hit quite hard. There was this incongruency. The last few days there’s been a little bit of resistance, something blocking me. Just this feeling that something’s not right. And when I came to edit some of the videos this morning, I realised that I was out of alignment. There was no congruency between what I was actually saying and what was happening. I was editing these videos, trying to make them perfect, but that’s not me. So again, there was no congruency. I was out of alignment and I needed to fucking change things. That’s what today is all about. You’ve made your list. Oh, my belly’s rumbling. I’m showing up as my true self today. All of me. Anyway. When you’re out of alignment, things feel off. You can’t always name it, but you just feel this tension, something there, this fizzing underneath the surface. You know something’s not quite right, and sometimes you can’t fucking name it. I’ve realised this is a huge reason why so many women feel like there’s something wrong with their lives or themselves. Not because they’re failing, not because they’re lost or not good enough. It’s because they’ve got this inner world – what matters most – but they’re not doing it in their outer world. They’re not living it. So they’re out of alignment. There are a few reasons this happens. One is that we believe what we’re doing in our outer world still matters, even when it doesn’t. Maybe it did once. Maybe it was your dream at 20 or something you worked hard for. But it’s not who you are anymore. I’ve been there. I’ve held on to a version of my work and identity that used to fit but didn’t anymore. When I was working with biomechanics and remedial massage, I was in high demand. I was good at what I did. Really fucking good. And yet, it wasn’t right for me anymore. Maybe it was originally, but as my career expanded, I forgot what actually mattered to me. I was completely out of alignment. I strongly believe that’s why I kept getting ill. Tonsillitis, constant sickness. I was living this outer world that didn’t fit who I was on the inside anymore. There was no congruency. Another reason is that sometimes we *do* know what matters, but we just can’t seem to live it. Maybe we know exactly what feels aligned, but we’ve got too much on our plate. Too many roles, too many responsibilities, too many expectations. Sometimes we build a life around everyone else’s needs and there’s no space for our own. For me, again today, it was that I knew what mattered – to show up as my true self. As me. Someone who struggles to look at the camera, who swears, who plays with her ear occasionally, who waffles. That matters to me. I want to be me. And yet I wasn’t. I was reading this script that wasn’t me at all. I realised I was out of alignment. And the reason? Because these videos are supposed to be perfect, right? Nobody wants the ums and ahs and waffles or tangents. I thought I needed to be professional. To look at the camera. To have makeup on and perfect nails. I bite my nails. It just didn’t feel right. So, it’s gone. I can’t expect you to do something if I’m not doing it myself. I need to show up as myself. Hence this re-recorded video. Because this feels aligned. My inner world and outer world are finally in sync. Told you I waffle. So, take a look at today’s worksheet. Are you in alignment? You’ll see two columns: what you say matters, and are you living it? This page is your map. Start by pulling your answers over from your day one worksheet – the things that matter to you most – and write them down one per line in the first column. In the second column, ask yourself: am I living this right now? Am I giving time, space and energy to the things I say matter most? If your answer is yes, amazing. You’re on the right path. Keep doing that. Notice what alignment feels like in your body. That’s what we want more of. If your answer is no, or maybe not, be gentle. This isn’t about guilt or shame. It’s about awareness. Ask yourself, why? Why are you not doing the things you say matter? Is there too much on your plate? Did what mattered once not matter anymore? Something that mattered in a past season – a career, a social role, being the reliable one – might not be what you need right now. And that’s completely okay. It’s about letting go of old versions of ourselves and figuring out who we are now. For me, what I say matters is showing up as my authentic self. Just being me, behind the masks and expectations. And am I living it? No, I wasn’t. I recorded these videos as a polished version of me. That’s not me. I’m not polished. Why am I not showing up as my true self? Because I think recordings need to be perfect. I see everyone else doing perfect videos – no ums or ahs, no waffling. Everyone looks polished. And I think if I show up as my real self, it’s not professional. I thought it needed to be short, to the point, what the experts say it should be. But actually, I think – I *hope* – you’d prefer me to show up as me. For us to have a real conversation, rather than me reading a script. Anybody can read a fucking script. So yeah, this is what matters – showing up as me. And I need to live that. If you’ve said you’re not living something that matters to you, ask yourself why not. Write it down. What obstacles are standing in your way? What needs to shift for you to feel more aligned? Where are you saying yes when you want to say no? Sometimes we think we need more discipline, but what we actually need is permission. For me, it was permission to show up as me. So take your time. Fill this in. No rush. No self-judgment. You’re just figuring out what matters and whether you’re actually living it. Does your inner world match your outer world? Look at what you’ve written. Notice the patterns. Where are you living in alignment? Where are you out of sync? Are you holding on to a version of yourself that needs to go? That needs to be completely and fuckily fucking released. You don’t need to fix it yet. Just see it more clearly. This awareness is how we begin to find our way home. Noticing what we no longer need. For today, stay with this. Keep reflecting on it throughout your day. We’ve figured out what matters most. Today’s about finding your bearings. Is it reflected in your outer world? I hope you’re getting a bit more awareness of what’s actually going on in your life, and how you can find your way home. I’ll see you tomorrow. Enjoy the worksheet.