# Day 1: Check Your Compass ##### Find Your Way Home --- > Before heading anywhere—before talking goals, change, or next steps—we need to stop and check the compass.  > > So today is about checking your inner compass. And what actually matters to you. ---  --- ## Today’s Tasks: 1. Watch the video above. 2. Take some time to work through today’s worksheet → [[What really matters to you now.pdf]]. 3. Share what's come up for you in [[The Cosy Couch Collective]]. --- ## Notes ##### What Today is About - Before heading anywhere—before talking goals, change, or next steps—we need to **stop and check the compass**. - We don’t start a journey without knowing which way we’re facing. - Today is about **figuring out your inner compass**: what actually matters to you. ##### Key Principles - The direction has to be **yours**, not someone else’s or what you think you “should” be doing. - This isn’t a list of goals, achievements, or to-do items. It’s about **what feeds your soul**, what makes you feel more like yourself. - These things are your **anchors**—the things that keep bringing you back to you. ##### Using Your Worksheet - Worksheet: [[What really matters to you now.pdf]] - Top: “What matters to me” - Ten blank lines to literally **list and name all the things that make you feel more like yourself**. - You can do more or less than ten. - Don’t filter. Don’t edit for now. Write what comes up. ##### Examples From My Compass - Silence and alone time – helps me hear myself, come home to myself. - Writing – essential for processing and grounding. - Creating – workshops, courses, blogs, connecting the dots. - Laughing with people who really see me – the close, deep connections. - Spending time in nature. - Laura and the world in my camper van (Stan) – my safe space. - Exploring my thoughts for fun and understanding. - Music. - Connecting deeply with people – fears, hopes, dreams, not small talk. >[!note] These are **not “shoulds”**. They don’t need to make sense to anyone else. Only you. ##### What If You Don’t Know? - That’s fine. This is why we’re here: to slow down, listen, reflect, let go of noise and expectations. - Start writing anyway. Even small things, even tiny clues that make you feel alive or calm your nervous system. - Ask: If time and money were no object, what would I do? - Drop down into your body. Does it feel warm, inviting, safe, exciting? That’s what matters. ##### Reflection and Awareness - Notice surprises. Notice what feels obvious or raw. - Underline things that hit you. Write them on sticky notes. Share in the Facebook group. - These are your **anchors**, your coordinates, your direction home. - You don’t need to have it all figured out today. It’s about **remembering, feeling, and noticing what matters right now**. ##### Today’s Focus - Write your list of **what really matters to you right now**. - Keep it personal. Keep it real. - These are your coordinates for the journey. - Tomorrow we’ll check if what you say matters actually **lines up with the life you’re living** → [[Find Your Way Home – Day 2]] --- ## Transcript Okay, so we’re on to day one. This is check your compass. So before we actually head anywhere, you know, before we talk about goals or change or what’s next, we have to stop and check the compass. Okay, so we don’t start any journey, we don’t get in the car and start a journey without knowing which way we’re facing. The whole point of today is about figuring out your inner compass and again, things that actually matter to you, because before we actually do something, before we head on and try and achieve a goal or focus on something, we need to make sure that we’re actually heading in the right direction and that the direction is actually ours. Because quite often it’s not. It’s somebody else’s or it’s a direction that we think we should be going in. So that’s what this is all about. This is day one. In your workbook or your worksheet, you’ve got one that says “what really matters to you now.” At the top it says “what matters to me,” and beneath that you’ve got ten blank lines. They’re a chance for you to literally list out and name all the things that make you feel more like yourself. That’s the best way I can describe this. This is where it all begins. We’re not looking at a plan or a list of goals. This is not a list of goals. It’s literally a check-in with what actually matters. So before you start writing, remember they’re not goals, they’re not achievements, they’re not to-do lists. These are the things that feed your soul. I don’t know a better term for it. They’re your anchors. They’re the things that make you feel more like you. And again, I’m saying what matters to you personally. They’re not the things you think you should be or should have or should do. They’re the things that really fucking matter. When everyone else in the world and social media and all the crap and noise are telling you what you should do or who you should be, these are the things that keep bringing you back to yourself. So that’s what this is all about. I’ve been through this process numerous times now, over and over again. When something doesn’t feel quite right, I come back to this and go, right, okay, what matters to me right now? And I’ve learned that every time I do this, it’s because I’m in a new season. Not necessarily my menstrual cycle, but a new season of change. Something shifted. It just feels like I’m moving again. And I keep going back to this: what matters to me in this season? So this is actually from the last time I did this. These are my examples. Silence and alone time. I need silence and alone time so fucking much. And this one took me a long time to add to the list because I used to think there was something wrong with me, that I was being selfish for not wanting to be around people all the time. But it matters to me because being able to hear myself think and not be full of the noise of the outer world helps me come home to myself. That’s so important to me. Another thing on my list is writing. I’ve always known that writing mattered to me, but it’s not until recently that I’ve realised how much it matters. Even when I’m standing—this has happened recently—when I’m standing at the top of a mountain, looking at the lake below and it’s just such an amazing view and I feel this experience… all I want to do is write. It’s the weirdest realisation, that I need to pause and write about it because I’ve learned that’s how I process the world. Without it, I don’t feel connected to what’s going on. I don’t feel grounded. I really need to express what’s going on through writing. Creating things is another one. I love creating workshops, courses, blogs — anything that helps me understand the world and connect the dots. It’s literally how I express who I am. It’s really important to me. I’ve put laughing with people who really see me. And what I mean by that is the people closest to me. I don’t like being in the spotlight or making a fool of myself, but I’m learning how to do that with people who love me and really see me for who I am. Spending time in nature. I’ve put that down. Laura and the world in my camper van. Stan, my camper van, is my safe space. And I think having a safe space in general really matters. Exploring my thoughts just for the sake of it, just for the fun of it. I love figuring out why I’ve thought something a certain way or what my thoughts are actually doing. And I’ve learned that helps me show up in the world so much more. Music. That’s a big one in my life. Connecting with people on a deep level. Not the superficial small talk. I don’t like small talk. It’s the deep stuff — knowing people’s fears and hopes and dreams, the things they wouldn’t usually tell anyone, and connecting deeply with them. So if you look at that list, they’re not “shoulds.” They’re not “I should do this” or “I should start a business” or “I should exercise more.” They’re not that. These are the things that just matter to you. They don’t need to make sense to anyone else — only to you. So this is your list. If nobody else understands it, it doesn’t matter, because these are the things that are going to keep bringing you home. You might think, “I don’t even know anymore. I don’t know what matters to me. I don’t know who I am. I don’t know what to write down.” That’s completely okay. That’s exactly why we’re here — to slow down, to listen, to think and reflect, to let go of the noise and expectations of who we should be and what we should do. This took me a few goes. The first time I wrote this list, I came back to it a few days later and realised — actually, these aren’t mine. These are things I can cross out. They don’t matter to me anymore. Or they never did. They were just things I thought should matter. So I redid the list. If you don’t know right now, don’t worry about it. Write down what you think matters, then keep reflecting. Spend the day asking, does that really matter? One way you can do this is to think about something that matters to you, like having a safe space. Drop down into your body and feel it. Does it feel warm and inviting? Does it feel exciting? Safe? Does it make you feel home? If it does, that’s what matters to you. That’s what goes on your list. If it doesn’t — say it’s expanding your business or running a marathon or whatever — drop down again and actually feel it in your body. Your body will tell you. It will always tell you what’s right and what matters to you. If you’re not sure, start writing stuff down anyway. Start small. What makes me feel alive, even just a tiny bit? What makes my nervous system calm down? What makes me feel most like myself? These are your clues. They’ll guide you to write this list for you. I once asked a client what really mattered to her, and she didn’t say career or creativity or friends. What she said was rest. She wasn’t talking about forever, just right now, in this season. She’d been doing and doing and looking after everyone else for so fucking long, and the most honest thing she said was that she just wanted to rest. That answer was the most true thing she’d spoken in years. “I just want to rest.” I want you to begin filling in those ten lines. You can do more, you can do less — it doesn’t matter. This is yours. Don’t edit. Well, you can edit later, but don’t edit now. Start with what’s there first. Don’t filter. If you want to put something down but you’re worried how it might look, don’t filter it. Just put down what feels right, what comes up. Write what comes up — the small things, the real things, the things that make you feel most like you. If you’re not sure where to start, think about how you spend your favourite moments of the week. What do you do when you finally have time to yourself? What makes you feel most at peace? What makes you feel home? A big one to ask is — if time and money were no object, what would you do? Because that can bring a lot up. As you write, notice what surprises you. Notice what feels obvious but maybe you’ve been neglecting. Notice what feels a little bit raw. Maybe you write something down and think, “Oh, I didn’t know that was there.” If something really hits you, underline it. Write it on a sticky note. Share it in the Facebook group. Tell us what’s going on. These aren’t just words — they’re anchors. They’re what really matter to you. They’re what bring you back home. You don’t have to have it all figured out today. That’s not what this is about. It’s not about fixing anything. It’s about remembering. It’s about feeling. You’re just figuring out what matters to you right now. That’s what this first day is all about. It’s not about what matters for the rest of your life. It’s not about your values or anything like that. It’s just what matters right now. So take a look at your list once you’ve done it. These are your coordinates. This is what you’re going to focus on. This is your direction home. Tomorrow we’re going to check if what you say matters actually lines up with the life you’re living. That’s what we’ll do tomorrow. But for now, just write your list of what really matters to you right now.